On the set of Scars

Simon Brown was shot in the face by a sniper in 2006 while on a mission to rescue six people in Iraq. The REME soldier was blinded in one eye and left with just 20 per cent vision in the other. Simon, now 41, from Leeds, was also severely scarred in the incident. Earlier this year, he took part in the film Scars: How Our Wounds Make Us Who We Are.

He and one of the film’s co-directors, Laura Dodsworth, discuss the documentary and what it says about the physical and psychological impact of scars.

Watch the film in full here

What was the idea behind the film, and how did Simon get involved?

Laura: I’ve focused for some years on telling stories about people’s experiences using the body. Scars are interesting because we can have negative impressions of them but the experiences behind scars are often integral to shaping who we are. There’s always a story behind them, and I’m drawn towards the complexity of human experience. The aim was to challenge perceptions of scars. My co-director, Rebecca Lloyd Evans, and I wanted to have a breadth of experiences in the film. I saw a poster for a military charity and thought it would be interesting to speak to a war veteran.

Simon: I work for Blind Veterans UK, and when Laura and Rebecca contacted the charity to ask if we could put them in touch with someone who had facial scars, I ended up chatting to them. The film shows resilience through adversity and looks at how society views scarring. The film looks to dispel myths about scarring and show that people aren’t ashamed of them. We’re not hiding our scars, so don’t hide from us.

Laura: We wanted to show people from all walks of life, with different types of scars and varied experiences. Lots of projects about scars focus on the body image angle, trying to make them look beautiful. But we wanted to focus on the stories, on people in their environment, how they’ve become the people they are today. There aren’t many people who don’t have a scar. The longer we live, the more we will acquire.

How was the filming process?

Simon: It was interesting. It’s not the first time I’ve talked about my experiences, but when you do these things something new always comes out. When I saw the finished film, I was impressed by the other people in it. It’s a varied group, with different reasons for their scarring. And we’re all in different stages of acceptance. For some, a scar can be a bigger part of their personality than it is for others. Our physical appearance does have an effect on the way the world perceives us whether we like it or not.

Laura: Simon was very comfortable and confident talking about his scars. He was revealing and personal. He’s told his story a few times because he does public speaking, but there was still a freshness and rawness to what he said. In the film, we feature people with very recent scars, like Cordelia, who is still in treatment for a brain tumour. Then there is Pete, who was born with a visible difference but has had his whole life to process it. Simon’s injury was a while ago, and it was interesting to talk to someone who has changed as a person and who is getting on with life.

You talk about initially hiding yourself away post-injury, Simon…

Simon: At first, I couldn’t see the scars, and so I couldn’t understand. A scar always feels bigger than it looks. You build an image in your head of what it looks like. There were also a lot of other factors that kept me at home. It had been a highly traumatic eyes. Because you can’t hide, you might as well make a feature of it. He quite likes to prompt conversations. That’s better than people shushing, pretending not to see, or being polite. He creates the question and it’s a bold and honest way of going about life.

That’s got to be a good thing. How do you feel about the final film and what did you learn from it?

Simon: It showed me that mental scars can be much more raw than physical ones. I thought that about the lady who had been abused by her partner and can’t date anyone with the same star sign. But she is finding strategies and moving forward. Then there is the lady with the brain tumour who doesn’t want to hide her scar, so she shaves her head. That’s her coping strategy.

Laura: I agree. It depends on what and where the scar is. Helen [a self-harmer] hides her scars because she can. They’re on her arms and she doesn’t want to be judged. Christina [who had been abused] had a tattoo to cover her scar completely because she didn’t want to be honest about what caused it. Pete [who was born with a visible difference to his hands] has to show his scars every time he shakes hands. He holds his scars out towards people, there is no hiding from them.

Simon: It’s a good point. Some scars can be hidden much of the time. Maybe you only show them to people once you trust them. I haven’t got that option – even a COVID-19 mask doesn’t help! But everyone in the film is moving forward with their lives. None of them are hiding, and I thought that made the film very powerful.

Laura: We’ve had some very positive feedback to the documentary. It’s a funny time for it to come out, during COVID-19, but in a way there is something beautiful about the timing because it’s about human resilience. During coronavirus, it is almost like the whole world has realised, en masse, that we are going to die one day. Life means living, and living means acquiring some scars. These people’s scars have changed them, they’ve thrived, they’re inspirations. So for the people who have watched the film, I hope it has reached them in quite a moving way.

How do you feel about your scars today?

Simon: Day to day, I don’t worry about them. I wear the scars, they don’t wear me. There is a reason for them and I can’t get rid of them. If someone isn’t happy with them, they can find out about the scars or they can ignore them. The film actually reminded me of one of the scars that I tend to forget about, which is the one across the top of my head. That’s where they peeled my face off to reconstruct my skull. It’s a good nine inches long. Most of the time it’s under my hairline. I only remember it when people point it out.

Laura: I think a key thing to learn is that we shouldn’t assume we know someone’s story if we see a scar, or a visible difference to someone. You have no idea what has happened. So instead of automatically bringing in fear or judgement, we should stay open minded and compassionate.

Can you explain what it’s like losing your sight, rather than a limb, Simon?

Simon: Eighty per cent of the world we perceive around us is through what we see. We are lazy with our other senses. Visual impairment stops you being able to drive, you need tools to read your email, and you can’t read people’s body language. You lose orientation and control of situations. It makes things more time consuming. It can be massively disorientating. Try standing in the middle of an airport concourse, shut your eyes for 30 seconds and you’ll get an idea. There are similarities to Phantom Limb Pain, too. You can cover your working eye and still ‘see’ something, like a picture or a dream. Your brain doesn’t believe the eye is dead. It’s very strange. So there are some similarities with amputation. But we all have different experiences. For me, that’s what’s great about Blesma. It’s a social thing – connecting you with people who are in a similar situation – or perhaps worse. It’s about working together.

Watch the film in full here